Being a caregiver is never an easy feat. It’s a long-term commitment that comes with watching someone you love age with a disease known to change the person you once knew, all while you juggle various roles and responsibilities to make sure your loved one is still being provided for. Some days, it feels like the world’s weight is falling on your shoulders.
We know your plate is full, and that is why we’re here – to ease some of the burdens for you and provide you with the tools, resources, and support needed to ensure you and your loved one live a life full of meaning and purpose. This is a journey you need not walk alone, and even during some of the hardest trials, there is still joy to be found in caregiving.
Let us help you find it.
Dear Caregiver,
It’s hard when things don’t go according to plan. When you’re a caregiver responsible for the everyday matters of a close loved one with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia, stressful situations can be made really complicated really quickly.
So, you might be able to relate to me when I say that this last month, there were more than a few times when I really wanted just to give up. Right when I could finally take two steps forward, I was being propelled fifty steps backward.
I was left feeling frustrated, inconvenienced, and just downright tired.
But, as I was on the brink of shutting down, I had to deliver the honest truth: some days will be harder than others, and there’s not really a whole lot that I can do about it.
Suffice it to say some things will never fully be in my control. The weather is going to move this way and that. Car problems are going to happen. We’re going to get sick at the worst of times. These kinds of things are out of my control, your control, everyone’s control. They just… happen.
That’s not to say that neither you nor I are ever allowed to feel upset when things go wrong. In fact, somebody once told me that the secret to managing stressful situations is to take a step back, acknowledge what I am feeling, and then analyze why I feel that way before acting on anything.
I might not be able to control everything (as much as I want to!), but I can control how I choose to respond to unwanted situations.
At the end of the day, my fellow caregivers, our loved ones are relying on us to be the calm in the middle of their storm. They feed off of our energies and reactions. So, if we outwardly show that we’re frustrated, anxious, or agitated, then they are more than likely going to start reverberating some of those feelings as well.
We must also be mindful of our reactions so as not to take our negative feelings out on our loved ones inadvertently. After all, they can’t control these situations either, and could very well be experiencing their own whirlwind of big emotions.
So, as cliche as it might be, when the going gets tough, take a step back and just breathe. Clear your mind and start making a mental checklist of what’s happening in the present, carefully noting what is out of your hands.
Did somebody cancel on you? Take advantage of enjoying the freshly freed-up time to accomplish something else — even if it’s as simple as finishing your coffee before it goes lukewarm. Did something break or spill? That’s okay. You can have stuff replaced, but you can’t replace time lost from brewing over something that cannot be undone. Is your loved one having an especially hard day? Maybe this is your sign to slow things down and connect. Talk with your loved one and see if you can’t use this day to help them understand what they are feeling and why – you never know, this could be a therapeutic blessing in disguise for you, too!
Remember, some days are going to be harder than others. But it’s all going to be okay, one way or another! You can’t prevent the bad times from coming around, but not all days have to be bad days. It’s all entirely up to you and how you choose to respond.
Be gentle with yourself, friend.
Signed,
A Fellow Caregiver
We're Here For You
The impacts of Alzheimer’s, dementia, and other age-related issues affect the entire family. Oakwood Creative Care provides services, education, and support to help you ensure you never have to navigate through this journey alone.
